but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
