Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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