She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
