I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I want her autograph on my taint
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
