Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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