Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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