Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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