you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
