so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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