thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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