my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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