my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
