i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
