dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
