susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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