can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize