Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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