I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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