We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
