I wish they made helmets for livers.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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