so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize