So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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