Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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