four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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