i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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