just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
