i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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