i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
