sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
