I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
