What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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