Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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