I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
