Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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