Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i already hear my dad disowning me
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
