I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
