So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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