weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I love having hate sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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