How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
