Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
