This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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