I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
