i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
