he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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