Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
