Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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