It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
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I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
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Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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