So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
