Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
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All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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