she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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