the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
