He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
