Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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