...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
