Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
