did you get engaged???
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
