lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
