We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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