I just threw up on my dentist
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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