How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
