he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
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creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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