Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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