It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
