The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
