i wish my penis had a tongue
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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