it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize