Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
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Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
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I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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